"I though that my target was to come off drugs. I didn't know that in the process, I was to change myself, for the better"

Sam, one of our Graduates, says:

"Wow, here I am. It's hard to think that it all began a whopping 7 months ago. It has been a long journey. I think back to the beginning, and there is one strongest memory, the turning point of my life.

It was a cold February afternoon and I was gently swaying on a swing in a park, in London. My whole life had collapsed around me. I was so confused; I just didn't know what to do. It was here that I made the biggest decision of my life. I dialled my mums number in my phone. "I need to go to rehab" I cried.

I arrived on a Sunday and remember as if it was yesterday. I didn't have a clue what to expect. I imagined padded walls and straight-jackets.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I though that my target was to come off drugs. I didn't know that in the process, I was to change myself, for the better.

To change as a person is the hardest thing to achieve. I started the day I arrived and I am still changing. Here is my story:

When I came into withdrawals, I weighed 8 stone. I was so embarrassed. Dan Fisher gave me an assist and it was as if he was playing the xylophone. Luckily, due to getting my appetite back and eating Narconon out of house and home, I started to put on weight.

I started book one with Zoe and I was so paranoid. I stuttered in every sentence I made and my embarrassment just made it worse. I felt ugly and found it impossible to look anyone in the eye. But Zoe made me feel comfortable, which enabled me to talk without messing up every word that left my mouth. I also realised that Zoe didn't think I was the hideous person I though I was, which gave me the confidence to look at her face to face.

I had a great time in the sauna, with Alan, Finbar, Lewis, Aidan, Graham, Zoe and Gemma. After sweating all day, we'd wreak havoc with my video camera. I have an archive of evidence of what we used to get up to. There was Allan, eating a whole plate of Chillis and Chilli powder, Lewis going for a swim in the pond, James and Finbar getting their bare arses whooped with wet tea towels. And on every video you can hear my evil voice in the background coaxing them on. I'm sorry guys.

The sauna programme cleared my body of all the crap I'd spent years putting in and the next step was to clear my mind. Personally I found the objectives such a big struggle and this just shows that they worked. It was a three month emotional battle and I won. I was battling a problem that I'd kept secret from the guys, we all have problems. But I'd like to share it now, because it was such a big win and hopefully you can achieve wins just as precious.

For a few years, I was so sad and depressed and never thought I could ever be as happy as I once was. My dad took his own life and I never dealt with it. I just took more and more drugs, which blanked out my feelings.

It was time to deal with what I'd been hiding from for so long. The objectives made this possible and although I had such a fight with them, they helped me deal with my dads death and aside from coming off drugs, is the biggest reward I could ever have. I was happy again and with the help of Alan as my twin I struggled through.

Books 5, 6, 7 and 8 were very beneficial too; in helping me stay off drugs and working towards living happily. Only now, at the very end of my journey can I look back and see how the course has helped change me into the person I am today.

I am honest, I don't lie anymore, I feel guilt, shame, anger, sadness, happiness, I feel all these things most of which I never felt before. I am human again. Narconon saved my life. I can't be any more grateful for that.

Moving on, I would like to thank Allan who has been with me every step of the way. I have seen him change, just as much as I, into such a gentle, caring young man.

You made me laugh when I was down and you are my best friend. You helped save my life and I am so proud of the fact that I helped save yours.

I'd also like to give my roommate Basma a mention. I know you left Lebanon at such a dangerous time, but I didn't think you'd bring the war with you! It looks like a bomb has hit our bedroom, the debris has spread like a rash but that's why I love you. You're a strong woman, with a strong opinion, and I respect you for speaking your mind.

I would like to thank every one of you guys sitting here today; you have been my friends and my family. You were all I had on the course and I wouldn't be standing here without you guys. You are Narconon.

The only words of advice I can give every one is to stick with it, there are some tough times ahead, but if I can do it, so can you. Look at me now!"
S.C.

To read another one, click here